I wanted my images to be large format, striking and powerful in scale too. I went to King's Cross but unfortunately, the print shop was closed on weekends. I could not explore printing on different types of paper/materials and felt a little bitter. I simply printed 7 images on A3 (essentially for my sketchbook and to see how it would come out on paper) and 1 large one, tiled into 6 A3 papers. I stuck the back with masking tape and to my surprise, the final outcome did not look bad and the boundary lines were not visible. The advantage of having a tiled large scale picture was that I could fold it and pop it into my sketchbook, so at the end of the day, I was satisfied with what I did. 

During tutorial, I hesitantly showed my pictures to our tutor. As they were stuck to my sketchbook, I showed my whole process till this day. While looking, our tutor picked out how the day 1 picture of the shower was powerful and ghostly. He preferred much more these pictures to the one that were staged and directed more thoroughly. Not to lie, I myself felt much more satisfied with the Day 1 pictures compared to the ones I shot on Wednesday. He told me to continue with this idea, in the shower and exploring the facial expressions and perhaps some body parts. I felt relieved and much more determined to pursue that idea. It would be easier for the model and for me to shoot. Minimal set, no props needed, no particular styling needed. Just the subject and me. 

I was thinking on basing my photographies to Masahisa Fukase's BukuBuku pictures. Extremely powerful black and white pictures. Most of them make use of flash but the lighting is superb as it shows every wrinkle and detail of the face along with the smoke from the cigarette. The reflective aspect of the water and the bubbles just make the monochromatic images beautiful and almost surreal. I loved how it was a simple setting yet they were so striking. 

I had already an idea for y subject/model. Instead of casting strangers on the street, I thought of my close friend from Paris that has struggled with an eating disorder (although hers is slightly different than mine). We have shared our stories and our relationship is quite intimate. 

As for the pictures, I wanted to show the solitude I feel during an episode.

During tutorial, our tutor asked me how I could show distance while having such a close relationship to my subject. I could not answer. A sense of distance while showing friendship.

After the session, I researched some photographers that have taken pictures of their close surroundings. Unfortunately I could not find numerous resources but I did manage to find the book The Model Wife. Photographers that have taken their wives. Of course, my relationship with my friend is not of romantic love and family but it is similar in the sense of closeness. I found it interesting how each photographer pictured their wives and how they see them.

One of them was striking Seiichi Furuya that depicted his wife that eventually committed suicide. We see the gradual transition of her wife throughout the years. She becomes more defined with dark circles and wrinkles, at the end in the hospital. They were powerful even though it might have seemed like a diary to the author. It is sad but his wife is being crystallized in time by being photographed. She continues to survive through the photos. 

I changed my mind and decided to reenact some scenes during an episode. Completely staged since I would not be able to induce an episode on me or my subject and I could not ask her to vomit. 

At the end of the session, I had a slight idea of what kind of theme I wanted to explore: Body Dysmorphia and Eating Disorders. As someone who has struggled and who is still struggling with the latter, I wanted to show how I personally feel inside when I go through episodes of binge-eating. 

Today, I've simply tested out some different filters, flash, non-flash and different compositions. 

I wanted to show an ambiguous atmosphere: green-based, cold in temperature and moody. Some were of course successful, some not so much. For example, the close-up shot of the face in the shower is quite well executed, where as the mirror reflection image (3rd one) is rather weak. I was hesitating to use the flash at first as I felt it quite harsh and didn't correlate well with the mood I wanted to convey. However, some turned out well with the flash, such as the one with the plant and I think I could explore both flash and non flash during my final pieces shooting. 

Overall, I learned that I should utilize the filter M3 on VSCO, lower the temperature and extend the tint towards green.